I just wanted to let you know that you may want to leave me. I know you love me and have been so loyal to me, but honestly…… well……. I don’t know how to say this….
*taking a deep breath looking you in the eyes*
I’M CHEATING ON YOU!
Yes, Yes I know it’s a shock. I know you thought we were exclusive in our relationship, but I’ve found someone else. I’ve been cheating on you for sometime now and at this point I really don’t care if you find out. What is that? You want to know who I’ve been cheating on you with?
Well…. I don’t know if I should tell you… Promise you will get mad? I’ve been cheating on you with LIFE… Yep I’ve been cheating on you with LIFE! There I said it. Now you know I can’t be faithful to you and since you wanted me all to yourself you may as well pack your bags and leave. You’ve already taken all of my money so you can have the pain and the suffering too. I won’t fight you in court for that. The children, hurt and guilt, yeah I’m not really attached to them either you can be their parent and I am sure you will make sure they are well taken care of.
Life has been good to me so I think I’m going to stay with it and keep moving and living beyond what you try to put me through with this trying and hard divorce. I’m sure you are wondering why I was cheating…. Well honestly I am cheating to win. I can’t live with you controlling me and frankly LIFE is so much better for me than you are….. I love LIFE and honestly my love for you was never there…..You should take it personally because it’s all you that made this happen.
You can’t stay with me while I’m cheating… I’m not good for you. You should move on!