For A Moment

Dear Lupus,

For a moment, I’m dropping the fake smile, letting the tears run, and I am releasing all of the pain created by you towards me. Sometimes, I’m not OK, sometimes I’m not fine, and because of you lupus, sometimes I’m just not happy. So just leave me alone now!

OK! OK…..OK…..

Release……. Release…….

Breathing….. Breathing…..

Release…… Release….

Screaming…. Screaming…..

Rolling on the floor crying…….

Release….. Release……

Hugging my pillow tight crying…..

Release…. Release…..

Breathe….. Breathe…..

Crying…. Screaming… Yelling… Cursing… Punching…. Falling to the floor… Breathing in out…in out… Release…. Release… Crying…. Release…. Breathing in and out…..

Calming down….. Release…… Breathe…. Sob….. Release…. Release….. Taking a deep breath……. Counting……. Going to my happy place…… Release….. Breathe…..

Picking myself up…… Breathe….. Breathe….

Wiping my tears….. Breathe…… Breathe…..

Dusting myself off….. Breathe… Breathe….

Clearing my throat…. Taking a deep breath….. Swallowing the fear that develops in my throat… Pulling from faith deep within me…. Asking God to control me…. Begging for God to breathe life abundantly in me…. Meditating…. Allowing more of the power of the almighty and less of me… Removed fear… Removed pain….

Lupus… For a moment…. Just for a moment you had me engulfed in your madness… For a moment you distracted my walk in faith…. Only for a moment you slapped me around and tried to blind me with your tricks… Only for a moment….

Fixing my hair…. Washing my face…. Straightening out my clothes… Throwing my hands up and saying thank you Lord for that release…. I’m ready for the day…. One last lonely tear of joy rolling down from eye…

Thank God for release!

#LupusInColor

Happy Anniversary

Congrats to Lupus In Color for celebrating it’s 5th year serving the local community of Richmond, VA as a support group. On this day in 2012 we began our journey to bring education, awareness, support and encouragement locally. Since forming, we have grown locally and worldwide as we use the world wide web to reach beyond our local area. Let’s continue to support one another and work to help others do the same in their areas. Thank you for your support always! #LupusInColor

Live ♥️

Sometimes when people see you living your life they don’t realize that you are pushing through the many issues of lupus that they never see. They look at you and think you are okay when in fact you really are not. You live knowing if you didn’t push through you would never be able to live a good life staying sad and depressed in your symptoms. Although lupus is difficult, there is something about pushing through when you thought you could do no more. You have to live and many won’t ever understand how you can look so good while the Lupus war is raging in your body. Keep living, keep pushing, know when to rest and realize how beautiful it is living life beyond lupus. #LupusInColor

How Would

How would your life change if you were diagnosed with a life-threatening disease that you were told was incurable? Think about that as you try to judge someone who is faced with this question every day. Think about this question when you speak to a Lupus warrior about what you believe they should and shouldn’t be doing to fight for their lives. Think about how you would feel if you had to walk in the butterfly shoes of a Lupus warrior in the middle of a painful metamorphosis. Think about it… How would your life change if you were diagnosed with a life-threatening disease that you were told was incurable? #LupusInColor

The Irony

My mind is always racing with thoughts about my battle with Lupus. Most times I am trying to find tranquil thoughts to offset the raging war in my body. As one can imagine this is a constant struggle that is sometimes won with tranquility and other times submitted to the barrage of constant pain. Either way it always has my mind in constant thought. I find myself always trying to find a way to combat negative thoughts about this disease. In that process I have found my mind wandering from my own needs to the needs of those I love and share my life with day to day.

I know many will say Aww what a noble gesture to think of someone other than yourself. But, I believe it is sometimes a trick to bring back excessive negative thoughts about dealing with Lupus. The reason I say this is because at times I get into a mood and in thought about how painful it is for me to see my loved ones hurt and have to deal with me as I deal with this disease. I look at my friends and family and the hardest thing for me is to see my loved ones miss the old me I used to be. I mean really if that is not my mind playing tricks on me trying to allow the negative to slip back into my thought pattern I don’t know what is.

The irony of it all, thinking about the feelings of someone else while being thrusted into a plethora of negative feelings and emotions. It’s crazy how that negative can creep in and slowly try to poison your mind and soul.

Sometimes I have to just shake myself out of it and remind myself of the good things that come out of having a life altering disease. I have to shake the negatives off in order to truly begin a journey into a tranquil way of life.

I am on a quest to live in tranquility through thoughts that increase my mental health in order to generate a better physical body. There is power in positive thinking and there is healing in tranquility.

I have lupus, Lupus does NOT have ME!

#LupusInColor

Today Beyond Lupus

Live in your today beyond lupus. We tend to focus on the present pain, but sometimes we have to look beyond our present pain and focus on the present purposeful positive power in being right here right in our now. #LupusInColor

Wear Shade UV Sensor Review

I’ve had my WearShade UV Sensor for about four weeks now. I’ve had to wear it sporadically due to some lupus issues. But, I have been wearing and am so impressed with how it keeps me in line and focused on doing what’s right for my health in regards to sun exposure.

Because most people with lupus are photosensitive and sunlight can trigger symptoms from skin rashes to internal organ damage, protecting yourself from sun exposure is a vital part of lupus management. I understand this and I know it’s important to know how ultraviolet light from the sun and other sources may stimulate an autoimmune response. This is where theWearShade UV Sensor comes right on time.

As a lupus warrior I try to overcompensate for what Lupus has taken from me. Most lupus warriors understand what I mean. When Lupus tells you you can’t be outside in the sun, you do whatever it takes to be in the sun with the least affect on your body because you miss it and the person you used to be. WearShade has given me some definite freedom and channeled into my personal responsibility to do what’s good for my body in relation to the outside fun I want to have.

Using the WearShade UV Sensor has helped me keep track of my sun exposure outside as well as UVB rays inside and stay in tune with my body. It is stylish and becomes a conversational piece. As I wear it, it is a constant reminder to pay attention to my body’s cues when it has had too much time in the sun. It reminds me when to reapply sunscreen, alerts me when I’ve gone over my allotted set sun limit, provides a history of my sun exposure, allows check ins to show how I feel during sun exposure times and a chat box in case you have any questions about the device. The UV Sensor app for the phone is the very easy to use and keeps everything in one place.

WearShade UV Sensor keeps me accountable and responsible to my own health. I would definitely recommend this device to Lupus Warriors to keep track of sun exposure outside and UVB rays inside. If you’re ready to get control of a main trigger for flaring in Lupus get this device, use it and share it with others.

#LupusInColor #WearShade

Transformation

Transformation is inevitable while living with lupus. Allow yourself to grow in maturity in dealing with a life altering issue. Always remember the beauty that is in you and the strength you show boldly day to day! As you grow in accepting what is it will be more productive in living in the now!#LupusInColor

Just Breathe

When lupus tries to get the best of me.
I will not let worry about pain consume me.
I will not let the stress of lupus break me.
I will simply breathe and be okay
knowing that I will never quit and
I WILL NEVER LET LUPUS BEAT ME!

#LupusInColor