You Prove It

People love to believe they can save you from lupus that they have the cure. That they can somehow pray it away. They often tell you that you haven’t prayed enough, that you didn’t believe in miracles and that’s why you aren’t healed. They claim full healing that other people they know with lupus have had and say you need to follow what they did, even though they still have issues they have never told them about. They say you’re not eating right and if you just exercised more you would be better. They tell you to have faith and remember at least it’s not cancer. Every now and again they’ll ask you what did you do to create this lupus thing and that maybe the sins of your ancestors are inflicted on you like you deserve to bear it all. You’ll sit and nod and smile and act like it doesn’t bother you. Later you will retreat to a corner in your home, most likely the bathroom in the shower, and cry it all out until the tears run dry. The next day you’ll get up and move beyond the pain and start your living beyond lupus and it’s pain once again. What they said to you yesterday won’t matter because you know that you did not cause this yourself, it was not created in you because of the sins of your forefathers, it’s not because of how you eat, it’s something very complicated that you have to deal with daily without any breaks from the pain or mental struggle in your fight. What they say won’t matter because you know you are stronger than anything lupus can put you through and you prove it day in and day out. #LupusInColor

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