Sometimes the scars of Lupus are very visible and sometimes they are not. It’s hard to inform people of a chronic infirmity that is not visible to the naked eye. But it is just as difficult to explain when the scars become visible.
I am not one for vanity. I mean, I love to look good because it helps me to feel my best, But vain is not a character trait I possess. Although many may look at me at me posting photos and assume oh she’s so vain always about herself, They really have no clue what I am all about.
Anyway, some days it’s easy to hide the fact that the insides of my body is in a constant fight for power over me. That they battle in a daily war for rights to my organs. That sometimes my mind gets involved in the battle and tries to fight for recognition only to forget why it tried to get in on the battle in the first place. Sometimes it’s easy to hide that….
Other times between the lupus butterfly rashes… the lupus lesions…the battle scars from treatments it’s hard. When the scars become recognizable scars for all to see and question or look at you like you have a disease that can be caught….it’s hard.
Now, don’t get me wrong the battle is always difficult. Just some days are easier to deal with than others.
I think anyone with a chronic illness tries to hide the scars, but when they become more visible it makes it more of a difficult pill to swallow. I say this because when you have a chronic illness you are forever battling with self to be positive and not succumb to the negatives of your illness. Couple that with the questions of your scars and battle wounds and it becomes difficult to handle at times.
I am here to not only encourage you but to encourage myself when the scars are so prominent that you just want to turn life off. *Click* just flip the switch and sit in the dark for no one to see not even yourself.
I’ve had to look at it differently. My scars aren’t a burden but a bountiful blessing to get awareness in the face of those that have never or would ever hear about Lupus. I look at my scars as battle wounds that are attached to the story of a fearless warrior that lives day to day in a treacherous fight for life.
Yeah… there are recognizable scars and battle wounds…. but they are my story… I can look at them and be sad and solicit pity from those around me. Instead, I choose to be strong when I can, allow my weak moments to peak and crawl through them, embrace the teaching moments and solicit support and love from those around me.
Is my attitude always positive about lupus and living beyond it…HELL NO.. sometimes I’m downright negative about it… but I have learned to live in that moment, appreciate it for what it is and pick myself up scars and all and start each day in a new way.
Your recognizable scars don’t define you they just give you an opportunity to tell the story of overcoming a battle. A story that all must hear including YOU!
I am the face of lupus that someone forgot to tell you about. Can you hear my story NOW? ~Racquel~
#LupusInColor
