Sometimes I get overwhelmed with Lupus in my life.
I want to do things that I used to do only for my body to tell me absolutely not.
It becomes a difficult task to really handle the day to day challenges
And sometimes I get overwhelmed…..
Sometimes I get tired of living with Lupus
It robs me some days of the loving, caring person that I am
It makes it difficult to deal with emotions and relationships
And sometimes I get tired…
Sometimes I get mad at Lupus
I just want to put my fist through its face and punch it to another galaxy
It can make me so pissed that I have to deal with its nonsense day to day
And sometimes I get mad…..
Sometimes I am really sad with the fact that Lupus is trying to take me
It tries to remove me from who I really am and leave me defenseless against its nasty tricks
I can be so sad at times that I don’t like myself or anyone else around me and make me feel lonely in a room full of people who may adore me
Sometimes I get really sad….
Sometimes I don’t know if lupus is killing me or just working to make me stronger
Sometime I get so confused
Then there are are sometimes that I am happy with Lupus
It has brought so many different testimonies in my life, so many people that I would have never met in my view….
When I am able to help someone else with my story and be a solid rock for them it makes me happy and it helps me to heal…
I am often in conflict with many emotions because Sometimes…. Lupus just is…… Sometimes….